A couple months back I shared a 4 question Wellbeing Test. This test can help you identify your sources of Sustenance, Success, Sacrifice and Strength that you need to live life purposefully. If you haven't tried this already, stop reading and click the linked text above. The third question of this test asks in what ways are you sacrificing and for whom are you sacrificing. Like my previous posts exploring the first and second questions, I will do my best to guide you to your best answers. Note: There is a good story behind the title of this post and I will make sure you hear that story today. But first, there a couple of things we need to walk through. This is an important topic for those of us on this adventure. Sacrifice has been the almost unspoken concept behind many of our tests and ideas. Here are a few examples: Back when I started this project, I shared how I thought I stacked up against our | |
"Here is where I fall short. Yes, I am doing many things I consider important and mighty. But, I am not being thoroughly worn out...When it comes to living one's purpose, I question if sustainability is an intrinsic value...What if I really should not approach this second challenge 'reasonably'? What if the standard is living life as a sacrifice to the world? I don't do that and maybe I should."
Maybe we all should.
Later that month I proposed The Injustice Test as a means to finding one's purpose. The test is as follows:
"What injustice would upset you so much that you would be willing to physically, socially and materially suffer, accept the suffering of those around you (who you may love and may love you), and refuse to harm those causing that suffering, if it meant that the injustice would stop?"
If you act on one of your answers to this test, then that action would make you a paragon of sacrifice. At the time when I offered this test I did not have many ideas on how you should come up with an honest answer. I have one now and it's called "Holy Discontent".
Holy Discontent
I am borrowing the idea from a pastor named Bill Hybels. I first learned about Pastor Hybels from a Fast Company article about how many religious organizations are looking for ways to improve the way they advance their missions by learning from the business world (the same thing is going on in the non-profit world as well). The primary example was The Global Leadership Summit, which is headlined each year by some of the most luminary business thinkers, and is hosted by Pastor Hybels' church.
So what is "Holy Discontent"? I have embedded a 2 minute, 48 second video of Hybel called "Popeye's Holy Discontent". You should watch it now. To view that, just click the first image above. Who knew that you would learn an important life lesson from Popeye the Sailor Man? If you are curious, you can download Hybel's full 42 minute talk on this subject from his webpage.
Whether you are inclined towards Pastor Hybel's theology or not, or even religiously inclined at all, I believe this idea of "Holy Discontent" can be a powerfully positive force in your life. It will also lead you to the first way you can sacrifice with purpose.
Earlier I promised to share with you the story behind this post's title. I'll do that now. Please go ahead and click the image right below the "Popeye's Holy Discontent". This a personal story I shared during a non-profit board development webinar for the Down Syndrome Affiliates in Action trade association. This link will have you start at 1:03:55. The story will end a little over 4 minutes later at 1:08:07.
18 years later I still get berserker angry when leaders abandon or blatantly ignore their responsibilities towards the people they are expected to care for. I don't really know why this is, but I couldn't ignore it if I wanted to. Notice that this "Holy Discontent" is fairly specific and wholly personal. After all, it wasn't the bullying that upset me but instead how the man responsible failed to step in. Yours will be personal and specific to you as well.
What has been neat for me is that when one of these "holy discontent" rages pass over me, and I don't fight it, I end up doing something very worthwhile and meaningful. That worthwhile and meaningful action also is usually costly and painful; a real sacrifice. If you're interested, I shared another story during that webinar (starting at 17:43 and ending about 19:29) of my two year, soul-wrenching, adventure in politics fueled by my "Holy Discontent". That one cost me a business, a lot of money, and my un-tempered idealism. And for all of that pain and trouble, I didn't even win.
The only thing I "got" was a chance to sacrifice purposefully, some experience and the opportunity to sacrifice some more.
What Job Did Your Wife (and All of the Other Important People In Your Life) Hire You For?
This is an idea that the Motivate (Beta) Fellows are exploring this week. Clayton Christensen explores this exact question in his book How Will You Measure Your Life? Stephen Covey also explores the principle behind this question in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Both of these fine books are on the Motivate (Beta) Required and Recommended Reading lists.
In a nutshell, both of these authors demand that you find out what the people around you need and truly want from their life in their heart-of-hearts, and then give it to them no matter the personal cost. What you will be giving is probably not going to be a part of your resource, process and priority portfolio (see the post on surviving with purpose for more information on these three things). What you will be giving is probably more than you think you can spare. That's OK. This is another way to sacrifice with purpose.
Maybe a personal example will help make this clear.
I believe that love is an action, not a feeling. So, if I love my wife I will literally offer everything I have to her. I will truly listen and hear her. I will want to understand her before I want to be understood by her. I will serve her. And, according to her at least, I will rub her back at least 65 minutes a day.
To love my wife is to do all of these things (and probably more) no matter how I am feeling about her, or whether I feel like doing them. I would like my wife to do the same for me, but I can't worry about that. This is about how I act towards a person who is important to me. This is a hard way to live, but real sacrifice is rarely easy. At times, it seems like real sacrifice is just plain rare these days.
Poverty
A few weeks back I shared some ideas on surviving with purpose. In the beginning of that post I discussed how securing and maintaining basic human needs like adequate food, shelter, clothing, healthcare, safety, etc. is sustaining with purpose. I offered one exception to this common sense idea; when you sacrifice any of those things for something you believe to be more important than your personal well-being.
Let me go one step further and share with you two formulas that clearly lead the way to sacrificing with purpose.
(What You Have) - (Basic Needs+Experience Success+Maintain Strength) = What You Should Sacrifice Now
What You Have = What You Should Sacrifice Now
Use the first formula until you come to believe in something that expresses your purpose almost perfectly. Then, use the second formula.
Please don't misunderstand me. When you see formulas like these you may start to make assumptions about my economic views. I am a capitalist and I believe in acquisition. I also believe in the power of not loving stuff. I believe that resources in life is like blood in the body. Blood makes your life possible, but your blood is not your life. The same goes for the resources you have at your disposal.
What I am talking about here is purposeful poverty. Not simply lacking, but lacking because you gave it for the benefit of someone else.
You acquire resources to use them well in an attempt to live a purposeful life, and you must use them until they, along with you, are all used up.
Sacrifice Is Not An Idea, It's An Action
What I just shared with you are three broad ways to sacrifice "correctly". You need to jump into each idea and figure out for yourself what they exactly mean for you. But be warned that simply discovering those answers is not enough. You need to go out into the world and actually sacrifice.
You need to give until hurts and then keep going. Assume there will be no return on that action you took to fix one wrong thing, keep one thing right, destroy one bad thing, or create one good thing in the world. Don't assume you will succeed or that success is the point.
The point will be that you did it.
Be well,
Sterling Lynk
P.S. - Two quick updates.
First, last week I told you all about this "power" I have to recommend the right book for almost any situation and I invited each of you to call me to test it out. Believe it or not, one of you did and I'm happy to report that my power worked. If you want to give it a try, get the details and my phone number here.
Second, check out the Museum of Purpose on Facebook after 9:15am on Tuesday. A video exhibit will open of magician David Blaine sharing how he held his breath underwater for 17 minutes. The whole process David went through, including the failures and unexpected challenges, will be useful to you as you start taking action on living your purpose everyday. New useful and actionable exhibits are added every day, even on weekends.