Almost 4 months ago I shared a 4 question Wellbeing Test. This test can help you identify your sources of Sustenance, Success, Sacrifice and Strength that you need to live life purposefully. If you haven't tried this already, stop reading and click the linked text above.
The fourth question of this test asks you to identify your sources of strength and energy in your life. Like my previous posts exploring the first, second, and third questions, I will do my best to guide you to your best answers.
Discussing Pope-Emeritus Benedict's resignation, a February column on the Harvard Business Review blog called maintaining strength the "Issue No One Wants to Talk About". One reader of this blog told me that his attempts at living purposefully have resulted in the problem that the folks around him try to squeeze the strength out of him when they think it will benefit them now. Unfortunately, finding and leveraging the sources of strength is often perceived as selfishness and a distraction from living purposefully. I disagree.
If we are going to live up to our Measuring Test, we actually need to cultivate and use those sources of strength. The point is to be completely used up until you have nothing left to offer, not to simply end up tired and sick.
The fourth question of this test asks you to identify your sources of strength and energy in your life. Like my previous posts exploring the first, second, and third questions, I will do my best to guide you to your best answers.
Discussing Pope-Emeritus Benedict's resignation, a February column on the Harvard Business Review blog called maintaining strength the "Issue No One Wants to Talk About". One reader of this blog told me that his attempts at living purposefully have resulted in the problem that the folks around him try to squeeze the strength out of him when they think it will benefit them now. Unfortunately, finding and leveraging the sources of strength is often perceived as selfishness and a distraction from living purposefully. I disagree.
If we are going to live up to our Measuring Test, we actually need to cultivate and use those sources of strength. The point is to be completely used up until you have nothing left to offer, not to simply end up tired and sick.
Sharpen The Saw
The most frequent piece of advice I give to folks who engage me personally for help in living purposefully is for them to make it a weekly habit to "sharpen their saw". Whenever I feel I'm getting a little lost, I revisit how well I am sharpening mine.
This is an idea that I have stolen directly from the Motivate (Beta) Reading List book Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. I like this description of "Sharpen the Saw" from the late Stephen Covey's website:
The most frequent piece of advice I give to folks who engage me personally for help in living purposefully is for them to make it a weekly habit to "sharpen their saw". Whenever I feel I'm getting a little lost, I revisit how well I am sharpening mine.
This is an idea that I have stolen directly from the Motivate (Beta) Reading List book Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. I like this description of "Sharpen the Saw" from the late Stephen Covey's website:
"Sharpen the Saw means preserving and enhancing the greatest asset you have--you. It means having a balanced program for self-renewal in the four areas of your life: physical, social/emotional, mental, and spiritual."
This is a very simple idea. Start by spending 1 hour a week on each of the 4 areas and you will find yourself more energized, more inspired and more capable of taking action than ever before. It is important that even if doing these actions benefit your employer, your family or others, that you do these things for yourself - be selfish and consider both near-term and longer-term benefits. Here are some ideas of activities to get you going.
Physical - Engage in some beneficial exercise. Upgrade your nutrition. Get some useful rest. Schedule and go to that physical, dental or eye check up.
I am not demanding that you start P90X or Insanity (though you can), or that you eat tofu three meals a day (how about start by taking a multivitamin), or that you take a daily 3 hour nap. Just take concrete, real and intentional action to improve your health. It may even become fundonce you make it a habit.
Social/Emotional - Go meet someone new and make a meaningful connection with them. Deepen the connection you already have to someone. Go serve someone, but not because you should or have to, but for yourself.
I am a natural introvert (maybe you are too) so this one can be a little harder for me than others. I still do it though, and so should you. So yes, go to that networking event (or speed dating event if you are single) and meet 5 new people. Share something "real" (but not creepy) about yourself and learn the something real about those you meet. Find at least 1 person who tt's worth sending a follow up email to. To deepen bonds to others remember that caring is an action, not a feeling. How do you act towards another person when you actually care? If you want a better relationship with someone then you need to do the action of caring: listen to them, support them, and serve them and don't keep score while doing it. Make it a habit to do that at least once a week and you'll be doing well in this area.
Mental - Read or listen to a recording of a book. Learn something new or weird that matters. Take a class in particle physics or the philosophy of language, or something else you don't know anything about. Go to a museum and really engage what you find there. Apply some of this new and strange stuff to something in your life.
What I am suggesting here is that you get yourself into a never-ending, intentional and intense learning regimen of the kind I described back in January, and that you never stop. Just make sure you are following the 3 rules as you do this learning.
Spiritual - Remind yourself what your values and purpose are. If you are religious or spiritual, do something religious or spiritual. Do the same if you want to be or don't know if you are religious or spiritual until you figure it out. If you like to take long walks in the woods to think about yourself, do that. Answer the 4 most important questions and write or update your one-paged, personal strategy or mission or values statement.
This is simply about you getting and staying clear about what is the most important to you in the existential sense. I engage my one-pager about once a year, I have been known to disappear into the woods for hours on end, and I do other more involved things. But, these are big things and maybe you don't want to start there.
If you want to start small, try this little 5 minute ritual. Apparently, the newly installed Pope Francis does this at least once a day. I promise it can help you too, even if your not Catholic or religious. Here it is:
So what does this selfish "sharpen the saw" look like in real life? I offer you this recent example from my life as an illustration.
Pretty much all of my travel is business related. This has the effect of ensuring that, while I have been to a decent number of North American cities, I haven't really seen those cities - I've only really seen the inside of the hotels I happened to be staying at. Lame.
The lamest of the lame is the fact that I have traveled to Washington D.C. almost every year for the past 4 years, but I haven't visited any of the sites. These have have always been good and productive trips, which is why I keep going. But, I pretty much just fly in, do my work and fly home. I end up coming home a little bit more beat up, a little weaker.
In March, I was back in D.C. and my plan landed 5 hours before the formal start of the conference I was attending. Also, my hotel was a 5 minute walk from the Smithsonian. If you've been a part of this community for a while now, then you know how much I dig museums. Clearly this would be the time to break the lame streak, and experience a little of what D.C. has to teach, right?
Not so fast. I also had 3 important work related meeting requests for those 5 hours. Since this is a business trip, it was more important to accept those meeting requests, right? In this case, I decided it was more important to be a little selfish.
I bowed out of 1 meeting, scheduled the other 2 meetings for later in the week, and Motivate (Beta) Fellow Nicki Pombier Berger was my tour guide to see a decent chunk of the Smithsonian, the Lincoln Memorial, Korean War Veterans Memorial, and a couple of other places. Since there was so much learning and walking to be done, this adventure sharpened both my mental and physical saws. I was also, I think, much more effective at my core responsibilities for the conference and I know I enjoyed it more.
There was a professional cost to this decision. By missing that meeting, I missed out on an opportunity to support an important partner, and the other two meetings would have been better earlier in the week. But, I came home more energized and I've put that energy into my work, into my family and into this community.
Start on This
I have more for you on this topic but I also want you give this a try. I have a deal for you.
This week you try to sharpen your saw. Do at least 1 thing. Make it small and easy, but do it. There is no excuse. In exchange, next week I will share with you another easy way you can cultivate strength in your life.
OK, deal? Deal.
Be well,
Sterling Lynk
Physical - Engage in some beneficial exercise. Upgrade your nutrition. Get some useful rest. Schedule and go to that physical, dental or eye check up.
I am not demanding that you start P90X or Insanity (though you can), or that you eat tofu three meals a day (how about start by taking a multivitamin), or that you take a daily 3 hour nap. Just take concrete, real and intentional action to improve your health. It may even become fundonce you make it a habit.
Social/Emotional - Go meet someone new and make a meaningful connection with them. Deepen the connection you already have to someone. Go serve someone, but not because you should or have to, but for yourself.
I am a natural introvert (maybe you are too) so this one can be a little harder for me than others. I still do it though, and so should you. So yes, go to that networking event (or speed dating event if you are single) and meet 5 new people. Share something "real" (but not creepy) about yourself and learn the something real about those you meet. Find at least 1 person who tt's worth sending a follow up email to. To deepen bonds to others remember that caring is an action, not a feeling. How do you act towards another person when you actually care? If you want a better relationship with someone then you need to do the action of caring: listen to them, support them, and serve them and don't keep score while doing it. Make it a habit to do that at least once a week and you'll be doing well in this area.
Mental - Read or listen to a recording of a book. Learn something new or weird that matters. Take a class in particle physics or the philosophy of language, or something else you don't know anything about. Go to a museum and really engage what you find there. Apply some of this new and strange stuff to something in your life.
What I am suggesting here is that you get yourself into a never-ending, intentional and intense learning regimen of the kind I described back in January, and that you never stop. Just make sure you are following the 3 rules as you do this learning.
Spiritual - Remind yourself what your values and purpose are. If you are religious or spiritual, do something religious or spiritual. Do the same if you want to be or don't know if you are religious or spiritual until you figure it out. If you like to take long walks in the woods to think about yourself, do that. Answer the 4 most important questions and write or update your one-paged, personal strategy or mission or values statement.
This is simply about you getting and staying clear about what is the most important to you in the existential sense. I engage my one-pager about once a year, I have been known to disappear into the woods for hours on end, and I do other more involved things. But, these are big things and maybe you don't want to start there.
If you want to start small, try this little 5 minute ritual. Apparently, the newly installed Pope Francis does this at least once a day. I promise it can help you too, even if your not Catholic or religious. Here it is:
- Remind yourself why you are grateful as a human being. What are you thankful for?
- Lift your horizon for a moment. Call to mind some crucial personal objective, or your deepest sense of purpose, or the values you stand for.
- Mentally review the last few hours and extract some insight that might help in the next few hours. If you were agitated, what was going on inside you? If you were distracted and unproductive, why? If you feel strong or joyous, why?
So what does this selfish "sharpen the saw" look like in real life? I offer you this recent example from my life as an illustration.
Pretty much all of my travel is business related. This has the effect of ensuring that, while I have been to a decent number of North American cities, I haven't really seen those cities - I've only really seen the inside of the hotels I happened to be staying at. Lame.
The lamest of the lame is the fact that I have traveled to Washington D.C. almost every year for the past 4 years, but I haven't visited any of the sites. These have have always been good and productive trips, which is why I keep going. But, I pretty much just fly in, do my work and fly home. I end up coming home a little bit more beat up, a little weaker.
In March, I was back in D.C. and my plan landed 5 hours before the formal start of the conference I was attending. Also, my hotel was a 5 minute walk from the Smithsonian. If you've been a part of this community for a while now, then you know how much I dig museums. Clearly this would be the time to break the lame streak, and experience a little of what D.C. has to teach, right?
Not so fast. I also had 3 important work related meeting requests for those 5 hours. Since this is a business trip, it was more important to accept those meeting requests, right? In this case, I decided it was more important to be a little selfish.
I bowed out of 1 meeting, scheduled the other 2 meetings for later in the week, and Motivate (Beta) Fellow Nicki Pombier Berger was my tour guide to see a decent chunk of the Smithsonian, the Lincoln Memorial, Korean War Veterans Memorial, and a couple of other places. Since there was so much learning and walking to be done, this adventure sharpened both my mental and physical saws. I was also, I think, much more effective at my core responsibilities for the conference and I know I enjoyed it more.
There was a professional cost to this decision. By missing that meeting, I missed out on an opportunity to support an important partner, and the other two meetings would have been better earlier in the week. But, I came home more energized and I've put that energy into my work, into my family and into this community.
Start on This
I have more for you on this topic but I also want you give this a try. I have a deal for you.
This week you try to sharpen your saw. Do at least 1 thing. Make it small and easy, but do it. There is no excuse. In exchange, next week I will share with you another easy way you can cultivate strength in your life.
OK, deal? Deal.
Be well,
Sterling Lynk