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Last week I had a terribly frustrating conversation with the President of a board I serve on. I'm guessing most of you are not strangers to challenging talks. Unlike most frustrating chats though, this one got me thinking about this project.
Thinking about the conversation after the fact, it turned out that this board President and I were having a disagreement about the value of discovering, living and acting purposefully.
The conversation also reminded me about how hard it is to live the lifestyle I advocate for here at MightyPurpose.Me.
Here's the story.
Thinking about the conversation after the fact, it turned out that this board President and I were having a disagreement about the value of discovering, living and acting purposefully.
The conversation also reminded me about how hard it is to live the lifestyle I advocate for here at MightyPurpose.Me.
Here's the story.
Something I really enjoy doing is consulting with the boards of charitable non-profits. I especially enjoy digging into board processes and coaching-up individual board members. If you rope me into serving on your board, then you should demand that I provide my services to your board pro-bono.
So when the President of this not-to-be-named organization asked me to sketch out some ideas that would help the board improve its operations, decision making and the value it provides to the organization it serves, I was pleased share my thoughts.
I used my preferred methodology for this kind of work, and the result was a custom 7-point list of improvements specifically for this board (no cookie-cutters here). While most of the list focused on board processes and systems, a couple of the suggestions were about how this board should determine and engage the organization's purpose.
Unfortunately, the board's President didn't like my list, especially the parts suggesting more intentional work around the determining, engaging and aligning with the organization's purpose. I wasn't that worried that she rejected my ideas (rejection goes with the territory). What was frustrating at the time were her reasons.
Maybe it was my pride or maybe it was my "holy discontent", but I thought these were just weak excuses. Given a couple days to cool off, I understand that her reasons were really just indicators how hard this "purpose stuff" is...even if,respectfully, they are just excuses.
Here were her reasons for rejecting my suggestions:
1 - "We did that a couple years ago."
2 - "No one is complaining. There is no reason to think that the organization is not aligned to its purpose."
3 - "If we ask the questions you want us to, then we may come up with answers that will create more work for us."
4 - "Its not that very valuable for us to get clarity about purpose."
I shouldn't have been so shocked. I've encountered versions of this list offered as reasons why an individual or group "can't" live better, act better, accomplish more and/or live purposefully.
When I described the Army of the Dead I was thinking about excuses like these.
The Motivate (Beta) Fellows have each struggled and overcome these kinds of "reasons" for not living purposefully.
Item 30 on my birthday wishlist was inspired by a conversation I had with one on my mentees as she noted how much hard work it was to do this purpose stuff.
How many people do you know that are pretty much just going through the motions and resent anything that tries to wake them up a bit or questions their assumptions?
How many people do you know that are happy to be "woken up", questioned or engage in serious learning but can't get themselves to act? Maybe this is you? As I talked about a few weeks back, and a few years ago I was certainly more interested in "being awake" than acting on that awareness.
When you take the Injustice Test you'll probably discover a huge problem that you need to fix but seems to big to solve. Your already busy.
Yes, your kids and spouse and friends and job and whatever are vitally important and require a lot of time and resources to do justice. But, don't tell me that any of those are your purpose.
OK, your kids, spouse, friends, job, etc. can be your purpose, but only if you are prepared to give everything to become among the greatest of parents, husbands/wives, employees, etc. in the history of humanity, or at least in your neighborhood. Doing that is a big deal and very hard. It's obviously a lot easier to just be a "good" one of these.
When living intentionally (and purposefully), you're not likely to get it right the first (or fiftieth) time. It's hard to accept failure and keep going. Very hard.
I could keep going but I think you get the point. It will be hard for the board I serve on to guide it organization's towards it purpose and it will be hard for you live yours as well. So, what can we do about it?
I offer three ideas I first shared in the Museum of Purpose via a short article written by John Coleman from the VIA Agency. I suggest you check out the full article here.
1 - Pick 1 thing you want to accomplish that you believe has to do with your purpose, and tell everyone you work with or are close with about it. Put yourself out there a bit and you'll find some additional motivation at your disposal. State your intention loudly to the world. Don't hide. Over 3 months ago I did the same thing and launched this website. I wrote a pretty personal letter to all my colleagues, family, mentors, and even donors to the non-profit I lead. I put myself out there and I still am. I shared the second part of this letter earlier (it's the Measuring Test). You can read the first part here.
You may be worried that you'll fail, be embarrassed or folks won't care. I can't promise you won't fail. I'm guessing if your thing is cool enough then the people around you will care and if they don't, I'll care because I told you do this. And, you shouldn't be embarrassed because you were brave enough to hoist your flag and take a stand.
2 - If you discover a problem, always propose a possible solution. A possible solution gives you something to try and shrinks the problem. Becoming the greatest mom in history is impossible - until you come up with 3 ideas you could try this week to become a better mom. I'll even give you 1 idea to become a better mom - my 5 year old suggests you try the bonus item on my birthday wishlist. See? Just propose a solution. Now you try it. Pick a problem you've complaining about and suggest an idea to make it a little better.
3 - Celebrate when you take action and something good happens. Yes, call your mother or go talk to the dude who sits next to you at work, and tell them your story. Brag a little and feel good, even if it wasn't everything you hoped it would be. What other ways can you celebrate? Be creative. If for some reason you don't have anyone to brag to, then please feel free to call me and brag at (608)698-6055 or do so over email at sterlinglynk@att.net.
All of these, I think, are pretty easy (except maybe the first one) and they all have the added benefit of making this "purpose stuff" a lot easier. Personally, my favorite of all of these ideas is the first one, even if it's the hardest. I've used this more than once in my life and it's helped me every time.
Last week I offered a little contest along with my birthday wishlist. For every item you do on the list and tell me about via email before the end of February 13th (4 days as of this moment), then your name will be entered to win one of a few reverse-birthday gifts I have.
Since it's my birthday wishlist, I now declare that the first idea above (pick 1 thing and tell the world what you intend to do) as on my birthday wishlist and thus it qualifies as an action that you can take win a gift.
All you need to do to get your name included in the drawing is put yourself "out there" and use the comment function below to share with this community the most important thing you want to accomplish in the next 2 to 6 months. That's it. And, that's not hard at all.
Be well,
Sterling Lynk
P.S. - To be fair to the board President my story was about, she did acknowledge that her reluctance may just be her jaded perspective and that she was curious what the rest of the board would think. In turn, I acknowledged that what I was proposing could just lead us down a path of rewriting our mission statement AGAIN and a lot of navel gazing. I don't want that.
So, I have a problem. I want "presidential buy-in" and I need to validate that my ideas are useful to this board. So in the spirit of the second idea above (always propose a solution), my next step before I bring this to board is to find something tangible that is a problem and then raise the big "purpose" questions as we tackle that problem. I'm too busy to go looking for problems, but I want to be more than a "good" member of this board and no one became better than "good" by pouting. I even have a strategy to dig up the problem. In the spirit of the first idea (tell everyone what you're doing), I'll keep you all posted so that you can celebrate with me when some good comes of this (idea three).
So when the President of this not-to-be-named organization asked me to sketch out some ideas that would help the board improve its operations, decision making and the value it provides to the organization it serves, I was pleased share my thoughts.
I used my preferred methodology for this kind of work, and the result was a custom 7-point list of improvements specifically for this board (no cookie-cutters here). While most of the list focused on board processes and systems, a couple of the suggestions were about how this board should determine and engage the organization's purpose.
Unfortunately, the board's President didn't like my list, especially the parts suggesting more intentional work around the determining, engaging and aligning with the organization's purpose. I wasn't that worried that she rejected my ideas (rejection goes with the territory). What was frustrating at the time were her reasons.
Maybe it was my pride or maybe it was my "holy discontent", but I thought these were just weak excuses. Given a couple days to cool off, I understand that her reasons were really just indicators how hard this "purpose stuff" is...even if,respectfully, they are just excuses.
Here were her reasons for rejecting my suggestions:
1 - "We did that a couple years ago."
2 - "No one is complaining. There is no reason to think that the organization is not aligned to its purpose."
3 - "If we ask the questions you want us to, then we may come up with answers that will create more work for us."
4 - "Its not that very valuable for us to get clarity about purpose."
I shouldn't have been so shocked. I've encountered versions of this list offered as reasons why an individual or group "can't" live better, act better, accomplish more and/or live purposefully.
When I described the Army of the Dead I was thinking about excuses like these.
The Motivate (Beta) Fellows have each struggled and overcome these kinds of "reasons" for not living purposefully.
Item 30 on my birthday wishlist was inspired by a conversation I had with one on my mentees as she noted how much hard work it was to do this purpose stuff.
How many people do you know that are pretty much just going through the motions and resent anything that tries to wake them up a bit or questions their assumptions?
How many people do you know that are happy to be "woken up", questioned or engage in serious learning but can't get themselves to act? Maybe this is you? As I talked about a few weeks back, and a few years ago I was certainly more interested in "being awake" than acting on that awareness.
When you take the Injustice Test you'll probably discover a huge problem that you need to fix but seems to big to solve. Your already busy.
Yes, your kids and spouse and friends and job and whatever are vitally important and require a lot of time and resources to do justice. But, don't tell me that any of those are your purpose.
OK, your kids, spouse, friends, job, etc. can be your purpose, but only if you are prepared to give everything to become among the greatest of parents, husbands/wives, employees, etc. in the history of humanity, or at least in your neighborhood. Doing that is a big deal and very hard. It's obviously a lot easier to just be a "good" one of these.
When living intentionally (and purposefully), you're not likely to get it right the first (or fiftieth) time. It's hard to accept failure and keep going. Very hard.
I could keep going but I think you get the point. It will be hard for the board I serve on to guide it organization's towards it purpose and it will be hard for you live yours as well. So, what can we do about it?
I offer three ideas I first shared in the Museum of Purpose via a short article written by John Coleman from the VIA Agency. I suggest you check out the full article here.
1 - Pick 1 thing you want to accomplish that you believe has to do with your purpose, and tell everyone you work with or are close with about it. Put yourself out there a bit and you'll find some additional motivation at your disposal. State your intention loudly to the world. Don't hide. Over 3 months ago I did the same thing and launched this website. I wrote a pretty personal letter to all my colleagues, family, mentors, and even donors to the non-profit I lead. I put myself out there and I still am. I shared the second part of this letter earlier (it's the Measuring Test). You can read the first part here.
You may be worried that you'll fail, be embarrassed or folks won't care. I can't promise you won't fail. I'm guessing if your thing is cool enough then the people around you will care and if they don't, I'll care because I told you do this. And, you shouldn't be embarrassed because you were brave enough to hoist your flag and take a stand.
2 - If you discover a problem, always propose a possible solution. A possible solution gives you something to try and shrinks the problem. Becoming the greatest mom in history is impossible - until you come up with 3 ideas you could try this week to become a better mom. I'll even give you 1 idea to become a better mom - my 5 year old suggests you try the bonus item on my birthday wishlist. See? Just propose a solution. Now you try it. Pick a problem you've complaining about and suggest an idea to make it a little better.
3 - Celebrate when you take action and something good happens. Yes, call your mother or go talk to the dude who sits next to you at work, and tell them your story. Brag a little and feel good, even if it wasn't everything you hoped it would be. What other ways can you celebrate? Be creative. If for some reason you don't have anyone to brag to, then please feel free to call me and brag at (608)698-6055 or do so over email at sterlinglynk@att.net.
All of these, I think, are pretty easy (except maybe the first one) and they all have the added benefit of making this "purpose stuff" a lot easier. Personally, my favorite of all of these ideas is the first one, even if it's the hardest. I've used this more than once in my life and it's helped me every time.
Last week I offered a little contest along with my birthday wishlist. For every item you do on the list and tell me about via email before the end of February 13th (4 days as of this moment), then your name will be entered to win one of a few reverse-birthday gifts I have.
Since it's my birthday wishlist, I now declare that the first idea above (pick 1 thing and tell the world what you intend to do) as on my birthday wishlist and thus it qualifies as an action that you can take win a gift.
All you need to do to get your name included in the drawing is put yourself "out there" and use the comment function below to share with this community the most important thing you want to accomplish in the next 2 to 6 months. That's it. And, that's not hard at all.
Be well,
Sterling Lynk
P.S. - To be fair to the board President my story was about, she did acknowledge that her reluctance may just be her jaded perspective and that she was curious what the rest of the board would think. In turn, I acknowledged that what I was proposing could just lead us down a path of rewriting our mission statement AGAIN and a lot of navel gazing. I don't want that.
So, I have a problem. I want "presidential buy-in" and I need to validate that my ideas are useful to this board. So in the spirit of the second idea above (always propose a solution), my next step before I bring this to board is to find something tangible that is a problem and then raise the big "purpose" questions as we tackle that problem. I'm too busy to go looking for problems, but I want to be more than a "good" member of this board and no one became better than "good" by pouting. I even have a strategy to dig up the problem. In the spirit of the first idea (tell everyone what you're doing), I'll keep you all posted so that you can celebrate with me when some good comes of this (idea three).
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