|
Last time I shared with you a 4 question Wellbeing Test. This test helps you identify your sources of Sustenance, Success, Sacrifice and Strength. If you haven't tried this already, stop reading and click the linked text above.
The second question of this test had to do with finding and keeping Success in your life. When I answer this question it becomes obvious to me that the more I embrace 3 big ideas, the better I do. Right after posting the test, this TEDx talk was shared with me. The speaker is Scott Dinsmore, the founder of Live Your Legend. Watching this video may just be your best use of 17 minutes and 57 second today. |
|
While I watched this talk, I was reminded of 3 things that have really contributed to any success that I've had over the years. Generally, the better I do these three things the better I do. Sometimes it's nice to be validated, so I found it pretty cool that Scott came up with "my" list. These 3 big ideas on are "Scott's" list, they are on "my" list and you should audition them for "your" list as well.
Know Yourself
For millennia great thinkers, emperors, philosophers, psychologists, prophets, theologians, and even the Wachowskis of The Matrix fame, have all demanded that you develop some seriously deep self-knowledge. Add me to that list.
There seem to be three really good ways to meet this demand.
The first way is through reflection; intensely thinking or meditating about yourself, your motivations, your habits, etc. usually through the lens of a helpful model or question. The Measuring Test, the Injustice Test and the Wellbeing Test are all reflection-method tools, but there are plenty of others.
The second way is through more scientific self-assessment tools. Assuming that you are honest and follow the directions, these can be very powerful.
I have taken and recommend the following: Emotional Intelligence 2.0, StrengthsFinder 2.0 (this one changed my life), StandOut (this one is changing my life right now), and Wellbeing. Also, I have used the multiple intelligence assessment from Literacyworks and the Myers-Briggs is very popular.
There is one more awesome way to gain some self-knowledge: doing stuff.
Do One Really Cool Thing
I mean it. Don't do something great. Don't do something amazing. Don't do something off-the-wall. Just do something "only" cool, at least for now.
Think of this as a game and here are the rules:
1. Take that list of cool ideas in your head, pick one, and start it. Pick the easiest idea or pick one that is a little more challenging. Be selfish or be of service. Don't try to live your purpose now. All that matters is that you think it's cool and that you'll enjoy it.
Quick Note: If you have a tough time deciding what to do, I suggest you make sure that none of the members of the Army of the Dead, or their kin, are getting in your way.
2. You have until tomorrow to start, but take as long as you need to finish.
3. How to Win: Whatever you pick doesn't have to "work". If this something is goal related you don't have to achieve that goal (but you should try your damnedest to achieve it). Simply pay attention to how you feel while working on this cool project. Then, based on what you noticed about yourself, keep going, pivot or start something new. After you've done that, then you've won.
There is something very empowering about just getting started. Here is an example.
Last week I mentioned my wife's recent trip to Yosemite National Park, with stops at other awesome wilderness locales. This was a not some camping trip. It was a no baloney, at times borderline dangerous, wilderness adventure.
Let me be clear. She didn't get to every landmark she planned, and in fact this super-in-shape-runner came home a week early because she was exhausted. None-the-less, this was certainly cool and she did it. Today she is a different, stronger, more inspired woman because of it.
You can have this too, and you don't need to travel across the country to find it.
Upgrade Your Environment
You want an environment that supports and inspires your success. Your environment is the total of the influences, situations, conditions and all the stuff all around you. The good news is that when it comes to success, not all parts of your environment are created equal.
When I say you should upgrade your environment, what I really should say is that you should upgrade the people around you. You need to search and add two kinds of people to your life.
First, join a group of peers who are working towards the same kind of success that you are. These groups are already out there and they come in all kinds of flavors. Start your search by looking for themed meet-ups and networking events, try to dig up invites to breakfast clubs or a Napoleon Hill inspired Mastermind groups, try an AA meeting (only if that's what you need), or join a Toastmasters, Rotary, Lions, Kiwanis or Optimist club. You can even search around the internet a bit and find a quality online community that matches your interests. These groups will be resources for you and venues for you to participate and share.
Second, find a coach, mentor or guide that has already achieved the kind of success you are trying to achieve. Having a few mentors in your corner can be very powerful, and if you haven't grown your stable of mentors recently (or don't have any at the moment) then you should find a new one right away.
Start by considering who you know. Is there an elder or an authoritative person who you have access to? Maybe a boss or another leader at work, or someplace else? Is there someone in or near your network whose vocation involves coaching, teaching or guiding? Write down the names that come to mind and pick somebody on that list.
After you pick somebody here is what you do:
1. Approach her/him, preferably in person or by phone, and ask for advice on a specific issue. Keep it fairly narrow at first (i.e. "Do you have any advice for solving X problem as part of a Y project" not "Can you help me find the meaning of life?").
2. Listen well, take good notes and ask clarifying questions to make sure you understand what they are suggesting to you. Let him/her know you will check back in once you acted on their advice.
3. Honor your potential new mentor by doing what she/he said you should do. Do it now, don't wait.
4. Check back in with your advisor and let them know how his/her advice worked out, whether good or bad and solicit feedback on how you did. Listen well.
5. If the relationship feels right to you, then ask if you can reach out to her/him by email or phone with any follow up questions. They'll probably say yes and then you're well on your way to having yourself a new mentor. If for some strange reason the advisor says "no" or things don't feel right, then pick someone else on your list and start over with step 1 above. If you are still stuggling, then shoot me an email and I'll see what I can do.
I offer this story as a single example of me adding both peers and mentors.
In 2008 the Aspen Institute selected me to be one of their MaranoFellows because of the work I was doing in workforce development at the time. Being honored like that was pretty cool, but what made an actual difference was what came with the fellowship: nearly 18 months of monthly peer-to-peer calls, 4 group site visits located all over the country, and frequent one-on-one mentorship from the facilitators.
What impact did all of this have? Right when the economic downturn was at its worse, my staff and I at the Urban League were able to design and implement new employment programs in our community that resulted in record number of folks finding work, and also attracted community financial support worthy of that work.
I still do this and you should start.
Finally, you should also consider if you need to distance yourself from anybody currently in your life. From what I understand about drug alcohol addiction, in order to recover an addict often has to cut people out of their lives that will undermine their recovery. The same principle applies here.
Ask yourself if there is anyone in your circle who is or may try to undermine you. Make sure you examine your longest, closest friends as well as your family. If you identify one or more persons, then consider how you can change your relationship with them or, if necessary, reconsider even having a relationship with them at all. This will probably be emotionally harder than adding cool new people to your circle, but it's probably just as important.
Be well,
Sterling Lynk
For millennia great thinkers, emperors, philosophers, psychologists, prophets, theologians, and even the Wachowskis of The Matrix fame, have all demanded that you develop some seriously deep self-knowledge. Add me to that list.
There seem to be three really good ways to meet this demand.
The first way is through reflection; intensely thinking or meditating about yourself, your motivations, your habits, etc. usually through the lens of a helpful model or question. The Measuring Test, the Injustice Test and the Wellbeing Test are all reflection-method tools, but there are plenty of others.
The second way is through more scientific self-assessment tools. Assuming that you are honest and follow the directions, these can be very powerful.
I have taken and recommend the following: Emotional Intelligence 2.0, StrengthsFinder 2.0 (this one changed my life), StandOut (this one is changing my life right now), and Wellbeing. Also, I have used the multiple intelligence assessment from Literacyworks and the Myers-Briggs is very popular.
There is one more awesome way to gain some self-knowledge: doing stuff.
Do One Really Cool Thing
I mean it. Don't do something great. Don't do something amazing. Don't do something off-the-wall. Just do something "only" cool, at least for now.
Think of this as a game and here are the rules:
1. Take that list of cool ideas in your head, pick one, and start it. Pick the easiest idea or pick one that is a little more challenging. Be selfish or be of service. Don't try to live your purpose now. All that matters is that you think it's cool and that you'll enjoy it.
Quick Note: If you have a tough time deciding what to do, I suggest you make sure that none of the members of the Army of the Dead, or their kin, are getting in your way.
2. You have until tomorrow to start, but take as long as you need to finish.
3. How to Win: Whatever you pick doesn't have to "work". If this something is goal related you don't have to achieve that goal (but you should try your damnedest to achieve it). Simply pay attention to how you feel while working on this cool project. Then, based on what you noticed about yourself, keep going, pivot or start something new. After you've done that, then you've won.
There is something very empowering about just getting started. Here is an example.
Last week I mentioned my wife's recent trip to Yosemite National Park, with stops at other awesome wilderness locales. This was a not some camping trip. It was a no baloney, at times borderline dangerous, wilderness adventure.
Let me be clear. She didn't get to every landmark she planned, and in fact this super-in-shape-runner came home a week early because she was exhausted. None-the-less, this was certainly cool and she did it. Today she is a different, stronger, more inspired woman because of it.
You can have this too, and you don't need to travel across the country to find it.
Upgrade Your Environment
You want an environment that supports and inspires your success. Your environment is the total of the influences, situations, conditions and all the stuff all around you. The good news is that when it comes to success, not all parts of your environment are created equal.
When I say you should upgrade your environment, what I really should say is that you should upgrade the people around you. You need to search and add two kinds of people to your life.
First, join a group of peers who are working towards the same kind of success that you are. These groups are already out there and they come in all kinds of flavors. Start your search by looking for themed meet-ups and networking events, try to dig up invites to breakfast clubs or a Napoleon Hill inspired Mastermind groups, try an AA meeting (only if that's what you need), or join a Toastmasters, Rotary, Lions, Kiwanis or Optimist club. You can even search around the internet a bit and find a quality online community that matches your interests. These groups will be resources for you and venues for you to participate and share.
Second, find a coach, mentor or guide that has already achieved the kind of success you are trying to achieve. Having a few mentors in your corner can be very powerful, and if you haven't grown your stable of mentors recently (or don't have any at the moment) then you should find a new one right away.
Start by considering who you know. Is there an elder or an authoritative person who you have access to? Maybe a boss or another leader at work, or someplace else? Is there someone in or near your network whose vocation involves coaching, teaching or guiding? Write down the names that come to mind and pick somebody on that list.
After you pick somebody here is what you do:
1. Approach her/him, preferably in person or by phone, and ask for advice on a specific issue. Keep it fairly narrow at first (i.e. "Do you have any advice for solving X problem as part of a Y project" not "Can you help me find the meaning of life?").
2. Listen well, take good notes and ask clarifying questions to make sure you understand what they are suggesting to you. Let him/her know you will check back in once you acted on their advice.
3. Honor your potential new mentor by doing what she/he said you should do. Do it now, don't wait.
4. Check back in with your advisor and let them know how his/her advice worked out, whether good or bad and solicit feedback on how you did. Listen well.
5. If the relationship feels right to you, then ask if you can reach out to her/him by email or phone with any follow up questions. They'll probably say yes and then you're well on your way to having yourself a new mentor. If for some strange reason the advisor says "no" or things don't feel right, then pick someone else on your list and start over with step 1 above. If you are still stuggling, then shoot me an email and I'll see what I can do.
I offer this story as a single example of me adding both peers and mentors.
In 2008 the Aspen Institute selected me to be one of their MaranoFellows because of the work I was doing in workforce development at the time. Being honored like that was pretty cool, but what made an actual difference was what came with the fellowship: nearly 18 months of monthly peer-to-peer calls, 4 group site visits located all over the country, and frequent one-on-one mentorship from the facilitators.
What impact did all of this have? Right when the economic downturn was at its worse, my staff and I at the Urban League were able to design and implement new employment programs in our community that resulted in record number of folks finding work, and also attracted community financial support worthy of that work.
I still do this and you should start.
Finally, you should also consider if you need to distance yourself from anybody currently in your life. From what I understand about drug alcohol addiction, in order to recover an addict often has to cut people out of their lives that will undermine their recovery. The same principle applies here.
Ask yourself if there is anyone in your circle who is or may try to undermine you. Make sure you examine your longest, closest friends as well as your family. If you identify one or more persons, then consider how you can change your relationship with them or, if necessary, reconsider even having a relationship with them at all. This will probably be emotionally harder than adding cool new people to your circle, but it's probably just as important.
Be well,
Sterling Lynk